Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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