nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
