bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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