Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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