...so i touched it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
