HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
