this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
