Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
