Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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