just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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