and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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