I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
