I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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