Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
