I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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