MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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