he puts the penis in happiness.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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