My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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