me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
