Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
