Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
