pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
too bad you live with your parents still
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
