Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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