I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
