I want to have your abortion
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
