Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
