I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
