you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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