help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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