Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
organizing the empties. That sober.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
