Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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