She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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