ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
