if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
