so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
