Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
