Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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