smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
