I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
