matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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