Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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