its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
