You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
