So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
