he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
