I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
