I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
