I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
