Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
