so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
