STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We are two peas in an std pod
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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