no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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